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By J Elliott…Today.

This post will be locked down (where have I heard that?) Within 72 hrs or sooner if ‘blue bird gods & algos’ discover it.

09.08.20 ADDENDUM link – by Mike Adams

The White House Reads published an old 90’s report of how Billings Montana quashed a potential “racist” uprising against their communities of ‘blacks, jewish & native americans’.

Their commentary goes on to ask “why isn’t this type of manuever done under current circumstances?”

In the ninties – there were still strong, proud of Country free people. Humans helping humans; humans respecting humans… In the ninties…

Now is the 2020’s. Ugly, crooked, no respect, all exposed to killing rays of sunlight – except the uglies are doing the killings.

Main issue here- MOST of these perpetrators are NOT of our Nation – they were imported, further indoctrinated, paid big bucks – by you, me everyone who’s gladly paid into the deepening cesspool of USA underbelly – for decades.

We’ve become Snake Pliskin’s ‘Escape from New York’.

“But Patriots”… Rings out.

No decent human being, in their right mind, will appropriately address these monstrous goings – because there is zero encouragement to do so; zip, back up.

I hate it & all involved deeply or peripherally. The invasion of our lives, surface, subsurface to the root is close to complete.

No back up from anywhere or any faction to stop any of this it seems.

Yes… a bit of progress with traficking of humans; a smidgen of full ID of high level responsibles; the further that’s exposed – the worse we see. All emboldened to get worse – because there are NO consequences, punishments, death.

Not only USA – Every Country on this Globe has similar & worse (that possible?) to deal with.

We don’t ‘live’ in a Country any longer – we ride the back of a once healthy, growing animal – that began dying decades ago.

End is in sight – nothing more, nothing less.

Dismount is not an option.

Pray for those you care about & yourselves.

Thank your stars if YOU are confident of at least another few months of ‘safety’…as long as you follow the rules.

Refresh this page for addendum.

That is all.

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1971 by the Light of the Hurricane Lamp

071720 J Elliott



Gettin older too. I have a young dog and she knows my trail is ending soon.

Hurts to know I’ve wasted so much, of the life I’ve passed through.

Young dog watches me with keen eyes, daily takes measure of my health by scenting my breath. She knows; she tells me; she nor I are thrilled about it – but we move through it.

So blessed to have her. Her not so blessed to have me. Too short.

This year more than others, been deep in remembering who I was decades ago. The best parts; with a husband who partnered in raising and showing Appaloosa horses.

We had a small operation in Yorba Linda, CA.

All after Vietnam.

We did very well with our yearling filly. In our first year we garnered enough regional show points to qualify for the Nationals in Las Vegas.

And went.

One class; Yearling fillies; 160 entrants and handlers for this class alone.


One by one eliminations we’re signaled out the gate – ten to be selected for the final judging draw.

One by one…

We still kept circling, showing, circling, showing.

160 fillies and handlers – down to 20, … 13, 12, 11.

7 pulled inside; then 8 and nine.

The 10th was pulled and I and our filly headed out the gate.

160 – we were last, out the gate.

In just over one year of competition & good wins we made it that far.

Against and with the best.

Once home, a few days later, we get a phone call – Bob answered – got a quizzical look on his face as he turns to me with a half smile to hand the phone…

Told me who it was, APHC headquarters and that I had won the Lady’s Showmanship award…

At the Nationals…

In Las Vegas!…


So many decades ago. Now I sit here in bed tapping out this awesome memory.

Several days ago by chance I came upon a belt buckle similar to the one Bob had made for me so long ago. It made me feel so much more alive than I had been feeling – I bought it…

It arrived just prior Bob’s 2012 death day.

Amazing what items may hold so much importance. The buckle Bob gifted me with – disappeared out of a ‘friends’ care – but this has filled a gap I was unaware existed this hugely; til now.

It looks good & feels good to wear it again. Thank you Bob. For everything.

Getting drowsy now as I glance over at the buckle, hanging off my belt, softly gleaming in the light cast by the Hurricane lamp.

It’s a present, healing, genuine comfort from a successful past, 1971.

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Kat Trouble…

MAY 2020 5TH thru JULY 4TH 2020

Kat seemed a bit ‘off’ for a few days; this day even more so.

Sometime during the nite -she always gets me up to let her out if needed… this time not… I believe her need to get away from the bed we shared overwhelmed her & Kat wound up in a ‘basement’ area – she vomited & had diarrhea almost simultaneously.

Am badly hearing impaired and heard nothing. I felt horrible for her, having to go thru that with no ‘mom’ help.

She acted disoriented – maybe had a minor siezure during her ordeal, which didn’t ‘correct’ for days. The offended rugs were tossed; no amount of cleaning would’ve worked.

We were walking around outside & she picks a spot to deficate – does so. About a 1/4 to half cup of dark, very bloody diahrea… Shocked me.

Apparently this can manifest in some doggos -boom- like that – no reason… After reading up on it I watched her even more closely & put together some rice & carrots for day 2-3.. small amounts.

She was still doing blood in stool on day 4 – small amount -and after re starting her appetite by day 5 her stool was returning to ‘normal’ again posted the 12th.

All seemed well heading toward end of month of May, as I’m going over in my mind what had we eaten?

Fresh roasted chicken – non-GMO/hormones – USA.

First part of June Kat’s off her feed again & her stools are overly hard, 1/2″ in dia., as opposed to her 1″ + dia. usual.

Otherwise she seems cheerful. Short hikes good. Still careful feeding small amounts.

Another roasted chkn & we had some on the 4th. Morning of 5th small bile vomit with 2 small bits of chicken – the rest seems to have made it thru.

Sunday 6th. seems normal. She went out in AM came back in reasonable amount of time. She had a bit of scrambled egg.

I finished sealing our main entry door. She napped. We shared some roasted chkn breast for dinner; good appetite.

About dark I noted she wasn’t asking to go to bed as she does; continued snoozing on her ‘day bed’.

Around nine I got up to head to bed & Kat headed out her new doggo door to do what I thought would be her usual close patrol n potty. Usually under ten minutes.

It was closing in on 15 minutes so went to see what was holding her up.

She was sitting inside of her door – not even looking at me as I came toward her, talking to her.

Here’s a gurldawg ALWAYS makes eye contact – always.

Kat wasn’t here.

As I touched her the muscling along her left back ribs area quivered – pain… She walked reluctantly, painfully.

I palpated her nose to tail & could find no injury. She still was not making eye contact & didn’t seem to recognize her home or me.

It was about 10 PM as I kept intense watch, kept speaking softly to her- to see what I could do for her. She had settled on her day cusions…

I have some natural pain relievers & gave her an appropriate amount in hopes it would help her left side. It did.

Her personality returned gradually & by 11:30 PM I could see her recognition of all things home – and me…

In that short 10 minutes or so she was outside, Kat had suffered a trauma event of some kind…


Only thing I can deduce is she had a vomit session which was so bad she sprained her ribcage muscles & may’ve had a mini siezure as well.

She made it back inside – but didn’t recognize what to do next.

Just sat there – a blank lil soul…

Breaks my heart, even tho she’s recovering.

Around 4 AM she got up and creaked over to the bed…

Couldn’t jump up. I helped. She settled a little less painfully – very close to me. We both dozed off til about 8 AM.

We got up – she gingerly – we both went outside, walked around a bit. I wanted to see her potty – eventually did…we came back inside.

She settled on her day bed again.

I watched her for awhile telling her how good a gurl she is, then went into galley to make coffee.

Started to do pancake mix & Kat walks in gingerly looking up at me; miserable in pain spasms. She implored for help & I got more of the herbal relief for her.

She then went and lay beside the bed – & fell into nap again, as I finished making coffee & pancakes.

Kat wakes up about 40 minutes later – putting us at about noon Monday. We go out for a gentle tour – she pottys – nice long piddle & smallish amount but good stool.

Back inside about 2:15 she settles in day bed – I retrieve coffee n pancakes to eat near her daybed.

Almost seems normal – not yet…but we’re getting there.

At 3:10 she adjusted to the floor, and has been stretching her front legs.. A very good sign.

3:35 she gets up a little more robustly & heads outside – I follow – she’s kinda surprised – but ok – we go on a short tour.

Very windy & she’s happy to get back inside.

3:57 All for now.

6:00 PM – Much better & she readily tucks into a tiny meal – then we go in a very short hike near our canyon area. Kat’s moving pretty freely, trotting, running a bit – feeling much better.

She completed her night duties & we came back inside – still blowing a steady 10 to 15 with gusting to about 25. We were both glad to be out of it.

So its close to 9PM & tonight she indicates ‘bed time’, heads toward it and jumps up cautiously – but without help.

Her mom is much relieved. I’m betting Kat feels same.

She watches for her usual snack; gets that & a couple of small doggo biskies, then settles in for the night while I update this accounting…

9:57 PM and very thankfully – all is well again.

Will assess her wellness in AM & of course monitor til then. Am thinkin we’ll both sleep well – we got so little good rest last night.

She is SUCH a good gurl. Her mom LUUU-UUUVs her๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ

06.09.20 – 5:37 AM barely light, but we both wake up simultaneously. I open her door as she stands to one side.

And out she goes with her usual caution… Kat looks & tests the air before committing. Very good gurl.

Once she’s out, I watch for a bit & all seems well – I hobble back to bed. within a couple of minutes – I feel her weight back up with me.




Very good gurl…โฃ๏ธ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพโ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ

9:30 PM …

She wet the bed… big time – while sleeping.. my poor baby gurl… Its the ol’ weak bladder thing come back with an unfortunate vengance.

Cleaning to do.

She & I have too much in common. But it sure makes me appreciate what she endures. How this could be for her will never be known.

But she has suffered at the hands of two fosters who failed to understand her troubles; as usual – floor wetting earns physical ‘spankings’ – At four months – when we ‘paired up’ she was head-shy. Took me until I saw her bladder problem to figure it out.. The rescue people & both fosters said they had no idea of it.


So three later now – still not resolved but dealt with as needs be. Much much better tho.

It’s July 4th, 2020 as I edit this. A 4th like none other in history of USA.

MAXIMUM ugly & about to get worse. My gawd.