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Death and Dead

Not quite there yet… But closing.

So much to clear up and out on this small ranch; so much in just the twelve years of living, surviving here, have accumulated.

I want to leave behind as little as possible for others to have to deal with… Not right they should have to.

Biggest concern – gurldawg Kat.

She is predesessor to Maxine – & Max.

Two dead n buried here… Right here. Thought I’d have similar date but no – won’t happen that way.

That much I know.

How does one leave where one’s loved ones are buried?

I’d like to sell & find a smaller place – with grid power, water, septic – I know I can’t keep maintaining here. Too much; too old.

And Kat’s too young.

Yeah – we both need better digs.

For me to keep living – for her… If possible.

It keeps stampeding thru my mind – ‘life cut short’ – like the clickitty clack of train wheels…

“Life cut short….”

…….”Life cut short….”

…… …….”Life cut short….”

For her – for me.

Kat’s must go onward – she has paid her dues & then some… I used to rant n swear – Kat didn’t like it & over course of time – I stopped. She taught me not to.

She loved her kitties. One by one they ‘dissappeared’ to coyote, bob cat or owl… They were insiders at night because of this – it we still lost them one by one during day time hours. Very sad, and she missed each one… Five total.

Quit the kitties up here – dead zone.

Heard guinea fowl were great against bugs n ticks. Tried to raise a few – they matured & one by one, again, gone – dead zone.

So here we are… I’m near the zone & trying desperately to get Kat out of it…

It could easily be something here is causing egregeous imbalance…



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By J Elliott…Today.

This post will be locked down (where have I heard that?) Within 72 hrs or sooner if ‘blue bird gods & algos’ discover it.

09.08.20 ADDENDUM link – by Mike Adams

The White House Reads published an old 90’s report of how Billings Montana quashed a potential “racist” uprising against their communities of ‘blacks, jewish & native americans’.

Their commentary goes on to ask “why isn’t this type of manuever done under current circumstances?”

In the ninties – there were still strong, proud of Country free people. Humans helping humans; humans respecting humans… In the ninties…

Now is the 2020’s. Ugly, crooked, no respect, all exposed to killing rays of sunlight – except the uglies are doing the killings.

Main issue here- MOST of these perpetrators are NOT of our Nation – they were imported, further indoctrinated, paid big bucks – by you, me everyone who’s gladly paid into the deepening cesspool of USA underbelly – for decades.

We’ve become Snake Pliskin’s ‘Escape from New York’.

“But Patriots”… Rings out.

No decent human being, in their right mind, will appropriately address these monstrous goings – because there is zero encouragement to do so; zip, back up.

I hate it & all involved deeply or peripherally. The invasion of our lives, surface, subsurface to the root is close to complete.

No back up from anywhere or any faction to stop any of this it seems.

Yes… a bit of progress with traficking of humans; a smidgen of full ID of high level responsibles; the further that’s exposed – the worse we see. All emboldened to get worse – because there are NO consequences, punishments, death.

Not only USA – Every Country on this Globe has similar & worse (that possible?) to deal with.

We don’t ‘live’ in a Country any longer – we ride the back of a once healthy, growing animal – that began dying decades ago.

End is in sight – nothing more, nothing less.

Dismount is not an option.

Pray for those you care about & yourselves.

Thank your stars if YOU are confident of at least another few months of ‘safety’…as long as you follow the rules.

Refresh this page for addendum.

That is all.

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1971 by the Light of the Hurricane Lamp

071720 J Elliott



Gettin older too. I have a young dog and she knows my trail is ending soon.

Hurts to know I’ve wasted so much, of the life I’ve passed through.

Young dog watches me with keen eyes, daily takes measure of my health by scenting my breath. She knows; she tells me; she nor I are thrilled about it – but we move through it.

So blessed to have her. Her not so blessed to have me. Too short.

This year more than others, been deep in remembering who I was decades ago. The best parts; with a husband who partnered in raising and showing Appaloosa horses.

We had a small operation in Yorba Linda, CA.

All after Vietnam.

We did very well with our yearling filly. In our first year we garnered enough regional show points to qualify for the Nationals in Las Vegas.

And went.

One class; Yearling fillies; 160 entrants and handlers for this class alone.


One by one eliminations we’re signaled out the gate – ten to be selected for the final judging draw.

One by one…

We still kept circling, showing, circling, showing.

160 fillies and handlers – down to 20, … 13, 12, 11.

7 pulled inside; then 8 and nine.

The 10th was pulled and I and our filly headed out the gate.

160 – we were last, out the gate.

In just over one year of competition & good wins we made it that far.

Against and with the best.

Once home, a few days later, we get a phone call – Bob answered – got a quizzical look on his face as he turns to me with a half smile to hand the phone…

Told me who it was, APHC headquarters and that I had won the Lady’s Showmanship award…

At the Nationals…

In Las Vegas!…


So many decades ago. Now I sit here in bed tapping out this awesome memory.

Several days ago by chance I came upon a belt buckle similar to the one Bob had made for me so long ago. It made me feel so much more alive than I had been feeling – I bought it…

It arrived just prior Bob’s 2012 death day.

Amazing what items may hold so much importance. The buckle Bob gifted me with – disappeared out of a ‘friends’ care – but this has filled a gap I was unaware existed this hugely; til now.

It looks good & feels good to wear it again. Thank you Bob. For everything.

Getting drowsy now as I glance over at the buckle, hanging off my belt, softly gleaming in the light cast by the Hurricane lamp.

It’s a present, healing, genuine comfort from a successful past, 1971.